Unfortunately, my first marriage fits this pretty much to a tee except I did not deal with physical abuse. My ex did play the mind games and was darn good at it! Fortunately, I had a ton of great family support when we split that helped me from falling prey and going back again and again. I did not seek professional assistance (counseling) and managed to get stronger day by day. Additionally, after getting out for a period of time I could see the relationship for what it was and each day I became a little bit stronger.
It takes time and your best bet is to get away - far away from that person and surround yourself with lots of support from family and friends to help keep you strong. For some, counseling is also necessary and depending on the level of the relationship you may need authorities to get involved as well. I am not going to lie - it was not easy and at times I wanted to go back especially since we had kids together. But, in the end it was better for all of us to not be in this relationship that sucked the life out of me.
Below is a link that shares the signs of relationship addiction and tips for getting out of it. I would say, based upon my experience, it is pretty accurate and if you take the tips to heart they can help if you want the help!
My hope is that by me opening up that I can help someone else out there. Self Defense can also include mental and not just physical.