Reading this article from Women's Health has really made me stop and think do I really love all of me. Well, as long as I do not look at a picture of me then maybe. I get what the Plus-Size model is saying in this article and it is extremely difficult to accomplish. We are inundated with beautiful actresses on tv, ads in magazines, etc. that we are held up to. Well, guess what - most of us lead entirely different lives too as we do not have the luxury of personal chef's, personal trainers every day, etc. So, we have to remember to love ourselves and be gentle with ourselves. Am I happy with myself? The answer is No but I am learning to love who I am while still working on me because of physical drawbacks vs. looks. I want to be able to be active with my grandchildren and get up and do things without aching or being out of breath. The other thing that helps is now we are able to find plus size clothing that is not basically a sack. The average size woman is not a size 2 or even a 10 anymore. The last article I saw (which was a few years ago), the average size woman was a size 14. The average size woman has a few womanly curves and good for them! If they are healthy then who cares. Recognize that skinny does not equate to healthy.
Remember women - love thyself! All of You! I believe that once we stop the self loathing and internal battle we let ourselves be free to heal ourselves, whether that be physically or emotionally. Love to all and to thyself!
I started reading Overeater's Anonymous today and it started making me think about my life balance. Mainly because in lieu of overeating, I think I have replaced it with Snap Jewelry (both buying & selling). I find that is taking up a great deal of my spare time due to sitting at weekend events to sell and also selling it online. I have a full time job that is 40+ hours per week and I do some traveling for my job as well. I recognize that I am the type of person that likes to stay busy but want a more relaxed and on my time schedule. I want to get back into playing my piano, having time to make my crafts to give away as those give me much more enjoyment out of life.
I also believe that finding that joy in my life and not in food is very much what Overeaters Anonymous is trying to teach us as well. Therefore to find that joy I need to find that balance. I hope you find yours as well!
Unfortunately, my first marriage fits this pretty much to a tee except I did not deal with physical abuse. My ex did play the mind games and was darn good at it! Fortunately, I had a ton of great family support when we split that helped me from falling prey and going back again and again. I did not seek professional assistance (counseling) and managed to get stronger day by day. Additionally, after getting out for a period of time I could see the relationship for what it was and each day I became a little bit stronger.
It takes time and your best bet is to get away - far away from that person and surround yourself with lots of support from family and friends to help keep you strong. For some, counseling is also necessary and depending on the level of the relationship you may need authorities to get involved as well. I am not going to lie - it was not easy and at times I wanted to go back especially since we had kids together. But, in the end it was better for all of us to not be in this relationship that sucked the life out of me.
Below is a link that shares the signs of relationship addiction and tips for getting out of it. I would say, based upon my experience, it is pretty accurate and if you take the tips to heart they can help if you want the help!
My hope is that by me opening up that I can help someone else out there. Self Defense can also include mental and not just physical.