I recently started reading The Gift of Fear and other Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence. The author has been doing this a long time - analyzing these signals and providing data and support to the government as well as many people.
He starts out talking about an incident where a woman was carrying in all her bags in one trip and had her arms too full. One of the bags split as she was walking up four flights of stairs and her cat food cans went rolling down the stairs. A guy picked it up and said no problem he could bring it up to her. Her first instinct was "no, that is alright she could get it" as something sent a warning flare. First - she did not recognize the voice from being in her building and an alarm inside her head went off. But, he brought it up and was dressed nice and appeared to be a nice guy. So, she let him bring up her cat food but at the door she turned and said thank-you that she could take it from there. But, he insisted and that he would just help her by dropping them off and leave and they could even leave the door open. But, once she let him in he did not keep any of those promises and proceeded to torture and rape her for over 3 hours.
First - trust your intuition or your gut instinct. Whatever you want to call it does not really matter! What does matter is that you listen to that inner voice.
Second - more often than not the perpetrator is well dressed or at least nicely groomed and not what we typically think of. So, do not let this fool you and let down your guard.
We too often have a propensity to think that it will not happen to us but the statistics say otherwise. In the book he notes that in all of Japan the number of men killed by a gun in a year is equivalent to the number of men killed in a weekend in New York. Our armed robbery rate is 100 times higher than Japan's. Did you know that America's murder rate is 10 X's higher than other Western nations?
We can become part of the solution to not become one of the statistics!
Stay alert, prepared and pay attention to your instinct!
While it is true that I sell Damsel In Defense I also review other websites as well to educate myself. I have learned that there is a big difference between voltage and amperage along with the fact that voltage cannot be accurately measured. While Voltage is the electricity that could be going through it the amperage is more important because it is the actual electricity going through the device. At least, that is my take on what I have been reading. Therefore, Damsel has taken on themselves to go ahead and do studies to understand amperage of the stun guns they offer rather than waiting for a mandate from the government or governing bodies to do this. I am very excited to be working with an organization that is proactive vs. reactive. While I do not know the amperage for our products just yet (as they are in the middle of their study). As soon as I know I will pass on the information.
Right now, just going to share the four different type of stun guns we offer and you can go look at more information on my website www.mydamselpro.net/PRO13361
As bad as the national statistics are for women in general (1 out of 5 for women and 1 in 4 for college age women) the statistics for American Indians and Alaskan Native women are even worse. The rate of domestic violence (including IPV) is alarming in this country. All of us need to offer support for women going through such a traumatic event and get them to the resources they need. I am not advocating taking them in or anything like that but rather get them help that they need as they will need counseling, secure shelter, etc. - which is best left up to the professionals to provide this type of service for them. But, we can support by encouraging them to get the help they need and get out of abusive situations. Below are some statistics that are just horrifying and further down is information with hotline #'s they can call. All of this information and more is available provided in the link below as well.
As always, I recommend that all women get themselves to a Self Defense class!
Violence Against American Indian and
Alaska Native Women
More than 4 in 5 American Indian and Alaska Native
women (84.3 percent) have experienced violence in their
lifetime. This includes --
56.1 percent who have experienced sexual violence.
55.5 percent who have experienced physical violence
by an intimate partner.
48.8 percent who have experienced stalking.
66.4 percent who have experienced psychological
aggression by an intimate partner.
Victims and Survivors
The National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center (NIWRC) is dedicated to ending violence and increasing
safety for American Indian women and children. As the National Indian Resource Center, the NIWRC offers
resources aimed at enhancing the capacity of Tribal Nations, Alaska Native Villages and Native Hawaiians to
prevent and respond to violence against Native women and their children. Resources are available online at
The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides highly trained expert advocates who are available
24/7 to talk confidentially with anyone experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information,
or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship. The hotline provides lifesaving tools and immediate
support. Resources and help can be found by calling 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or online at
The National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), provides access to a range of free services,
including confidential and judgment-free support, support in finding a local health facility, local resources
that can assist with next steps toward healing and recovery, referrals for long-term support, and information
about laws and medical concerns. Additional resources, including an online hotline, are available at
6th sense or Divine Guidance
Have you ever heard that little voice tell you "no, don't do it" or that feeling of dread - that you should not be doing something or going to a specific place. Some people call it a 6th sense and others call it a Divine Guidance but no matter what you call it - that little voice or that feeling is something you should listen to and not brush off.
I was listening to Joel Osteen on one of my drives from Arkansas back to NW Oklahoma to see family and he was talking about this very scenario. I do believe if we allow ourselves to be quiet and open to some guidance it is there for us. Whether it be walking out to our vehicle alone at the mall, or going to a party or even where we are parking.
Last night, I went to a restaurant and was using my Google Maps on my phone - of course they had parking on the street right out in front but had passed those when I saw the entrance to the restaurant. There was also a parking lot on the side of the building and a bench (used for bus) on the sidewalk on which I noticed a couple of people sitting. I pulled into the parking lot but immediately had an uneasy feeling about parking in this lot and originally thought it was because the spaces were designated for businesses that were already closed. None the less, as I sat there evaluating the situation, one of the guys from the bench started walking towards my car and wanted me to roll down my window. I waved him on and told him "no that he needed to move on", which they did. However, I still had an uneasy feeling about walking out to my vehicle by myself after dark. Therefore, I went ahead and left the parking lot, went around the block and parked on the street in front of the restaurant. Thus, I had a pleasant evening without any further incidence. But, had I not listened to that little inner voice my evening might have turned out much different.
Yes, I carry my Pepper Spray on my key ring but it is much better to avoid that situation to begin with and not be put in a situation to have to defend myself.
So, my advice is to listen to that inner voice or that nagging feeling you are having! Remember hearing of all those stories of people who were supposed to be at the Towers when they were struck but that they did not go or were running late for one reason or another. Maybe a little Divine Intervention or Guidance was involved that day for those people. No matter what you want to call it - LISTEN TO IT!!!
People tend to refer to a stun gun as a taser and they are NOT the same thing. It is important to note the difference as there are specific laws set forth that pertain to either stun guns or tasers.
Stun Guns you have to have direct contact with the stun gun to the person. It is a high voltage tool to quickly immobilize the attacker. It transfers the energy to the muscles of a person at a high pulse rate. As a general rule, a one-half second contact will repel and startle the attacker, they will feel some pain and muscle contraction. Thus the attacker will let go and you can take off and get out of there. One to two seconds contact can cause muscle spasms and a dazed metal state. The best place on a person to target with a stun gun is the large muscle groups - abdomen, groin, thigh, back, etc.
The energy will not transfer from person to person so even if the perpetrator has a hold on you - you will not feel it.
If your choice of self defense tool is a stun gun then you need to get over the fear of the electricity that comes out of it. The strength of the energy of the stun guns are not considered lethal. Also, you need to find one that will suit you and your personal situation. Does it fit your hand, easy to handle, etc.
The taser you do not have to have direct contact with the device to the person. The taser deploys insulated conductive wires with a maximum length of 15 feet. The BOLT transmits electrical pulses along the wires and into the body affecting the sensory and motor functions of the peripheral nervous system. It is not dependent on pain and is effective on subjects with a high level of pain tolerance. Persons with a very high tolerance to pain (e.g. drug abuser or a trained, focused fighter) may be able to fight through the pain of a tradition stun gun.
Taser technology is designed to cause incapacitation and involuntary muscle contractions, making secondary injuries a possibility. There is a difference between what the general public can use and what a police officer can use. The police taser is much stronger and have more projectiles, have further range and also shoot at a higher rate of speed. As a civilian, this cannot be legally owned without the proper training.
Which ever you decide to go with you need to check your state and local laws as their may be specific laws set forth for both.
The link below is where I have obtained some of my information and they also have a great list of Pros and Cons which I encourage everyone to go read before you decide on your choice of self defense tool.
Another website I have used for information is as follows:
No matter your choice of Defensive Hardware or Tools it may not always be the best option. Let us take Pepper Spray as an example. What if it is windy outside? Even if their is just a slight breeze and the wind is blowing in your face then the Pepper Spray would actually blow back towards you thus making you even more vulnerable to the attack. The nice thing about Pepper Spray is that they don't have to be to where you can reach out and touch them but they do have to be pretty close (i.e. max most of them spray is about 15 to 16 feet). Now let's talk about Stun Guns. These are not like tasers and they perpetrator has to be close enough for you to reach out and touch them. Also, if they are wearing a heave jacket / coat it is likely they will not fill the effects of a stun gun.
There are other options as well such as Kubatons otherwise known as striking tools, a very loud alarm and of course a gun (in states that allow conceal & carry). Remember a gun is not for everyone! You have to be prepared to use it and have the mind set to use it in the face of danger. If you do not think you can use it then do not get one. It can actually end up being used by the perpetrator against you as they will sense if you will use it or not. If not, they will end up taking it away from you and using it!
So, here are some things to keep in mind when determining your Defense Hardware. First - what are you comfortable using? Two - How will you carry it? Ease of access to it? Third - when thinking hardware keep in mind that two is one and one is one. It is always better to have more than one form of self defense.
Also keep in mind that you are your best self defense tool as well! Pay attention to your surroundings, head up - eyes taking in everything and being alert to your surroundings. Do not make yourself an easy target - those are the best self defense moves that you can have.
Also, whatever Defensive Hardware you decide on remember that you need to Practice, Practice, Practice! Think of different scenarios and practice getting them out of your purse, back pack, pocket, etc. If we do not practice and have some responses already in our minds then we tend to go blank and freeze when these events occur. So, it is imperative that you practice!
PrettyLoaded.org notes the "Force Multiplier are the tools or skills that enhance force you are able to provide in response to an attack." Skills are Self Defense moves that you can utilize while tools are the Defensive Hardware.
The first rule for any of these is of course proper training and then practice, practice, practice. Your self Defense tools / skills are very personal in that what do you feel comfortable with using? Other considerations are what does your state allow you to carry? Some states do not even allow Pepper Spray so you must do research before you purchase your tool (maybe that should actually be rule #1 for defensive hardware).
I encourage everyone to go to a gym or to their local police or sheriff's dept. to learn more about available self defense classes. This will be the best way for most people to learn these moves. Another option (if no one is teaching locally) is to watch self defense moves on YouTube and practice them at home.
Also, remember physical fitness plays a part in this as well. "Strong is the new skinny" and you do need a certain level of physical fitness to defend yourself against an attack. So, like many others, I myself need to be hitting the gym! Let's go pump some iron :).
We will talk about Defensive Hardware in another segment! Stay tuned for future publications.
The Best Fight is the one you are never in!!! According to PrettyLoaded.org your situational awareness may help to keep you out of that fight. Did you know that vast majority of criminals are opportunist meaning they only strike when presented with a viable, easy opportunity. So, how do you not become that opportunity? In listening to their videos they talk to Coopers Color Codes of Awareness so I am going to give you my brief opinion /synopsis of the color codes.
The first condition is white which is the totally unaware condition. Typically on their phone or texting when leaving the store or rummaging through your purse for your keys while walking out to the car.
The second condition is yellow which is aware of your surroundings. Meaning not on your phone, not distracted and walking with a purpose. You will be able to see / identify potential threats such as a person in a trench coat in 100°F weather, etc.
The third condition is Orange which is you have identified something of interest which may or may not be a threat. A heightened or more specific awareness in a direction. Such as a person leaning against a pole by your car with no one else around, etc. "What If" scenarios should start playing out in your head. You may want to leave and find someone to walk you to your car, lay your hands upon your self defense tool, etc. An attack should be of no surprise.
The fourth color is Condition Red and this changes your focus from potential threat to potential target. You will draw your self defense tool and if possible (in both yellow & red) move to a position that will give you tactical advantage. Be careful to not develop tunnel vision because the perp may be the distraction while someone else comes up to grab you.
There is a fifth color which is black which is where you are in full on fight which is what you are trying to avoid.
According to Womens Self Defense Institute the reason we need the colors is as follows: "Because when faced with a life threatening attack by a criminal, as a typical normal person, we are faced with 3 very difficult challenges". 1) Recognizing the presence of the predator in time 2) Realizing , internalizing and accepting THAT MAN, RIGHT THERE is about to kill you for reasons you do not understand, and if you do not stop him; and 3) Overcoming your reluctance to do lethal violence to another fellow human being.
What color do you live in? I used to be the one living in white and became a victim of theft. I implore you to examine your life - what color do you live in? We should all be living in a color of Yellow - color of awareness with the ability to be in Orange unfortunately.
For more tips - please feel free to go to the websites that I have mentioned as they have a ton of valuable information for women and self defense.
May you Be Aware!, Be Empowered! and Be Safe!
It breaks my heart that 70% of sexual assault happens to children under the age of 17. I am glad that Damsel In Defense is trying to change that. This company just keeps bringing it. Safe Hearts is a brand new line and they have a parent guide and series of books to have that conversation with your children on how to say "NO" and Child Hood Sexual Assault. I encourage you to watch the video on the link provided below which helps explain what Safe Heart is about. For more information, feel free to contact me vickiesangelsTCB@gmail.com and I will be glad to e-mail you more information.
This past weekend was a great weekend with an opportunity to learn some new personal safety tips. My husband and I took the conceal and carry class which taught us not only about our guns but about the laws as well. The instructor was very knowledgeable and gave us some other tidbits to ponder as well so I have to give him credit for what I am getting ready to discuss.
Women - when we come out of the store with our cart full of groceries, etc. what do we do with our purses? Most of the time, my purse is sitting in the buggy seat for children and I used to leave mine in that seat while I loaded my groceries. After I had my wallet stolen at a gas station, I decided that was probably not the best practice and started putting it in my front seat and locking my car doors so no one could get to it.
The instructor gave pause to that activity and offered this scenario. What if someone comes up from behind and pushes you into your truck and shuts the trunk lid. Now, here you are in the trunk and the predator not only has you but he also has your cell phone and anything else you may have in your purse for personal protection - i.e. your stun gun, your gun, pepper spray, etc. And, he is exactly right - I typically do not carry my phone on me as it is usually in my purse along with my stun gun. At most, I may have my keys in my hand or in my trunk and I do keep a pepper spray on my key ring. However, it would be better to either keep the purse on you or set it in the trunk while you load groceries. This way, even though it is still a bad situation, if you get shoved into and locked into your trunk, when they open the trunk you can unload your gun into them and then take the car and get away and call for help!
So, ladies, this particular blog is meant for you to think about where do you keep your personal protection items and your purse. Do you conceal and carry if allowed in your state? I know some businesses do not want guns brought into their establishments which is their right but you still have the right to have it in your vehicle. Thus, why I highly recommend you layer your protection. What if you come out from a store that does not allow guns in their establishment and it is in your glove box and you get shoved into your trunk (believe me these predators know which places do and do not). What do you use for protection then? Do you have pepper spray, stun gun or Kubaton that you can use for self defense when they open the trunk lid?
I implore you to take some time and think about your activities and opportunities for those predators. Believe me, they generally scope out locations before they act so know your areas of weakness and shore it up today!